Voices from a breakdown- poem
Voices from a breakdown- poem
I realised
what a breakdown was, my dear yesterday.
The anger
within me I dared not express,
The sadness
was beyond what I could handle.
The reasons
were no different than those the day before,
The triggers
less severe than the past.
I frantically searched for a reason to explain
and a person to blame.
This is not me, I convinced myself,
Not the
empathetic daughter,
Not the
level-headed mother,
Not the
rational human
Not the
stuff of which the woman behind the man was made of.
None of the
labels I had created for myself clung to me.
I felt myself break from within,
And pulled the cover over my head to stop the
implosion.
Instead of containment, it only left me with
my senses impaired.
My flailing arms refused to reach the positive
thoughts, the motivational speeches
The simple
proverbs with their earthy messages seemed too complex to understand
The love and concern that was still floating
around me refused to touch my shores.
Every hand of reality that was extended
pushed me further into the depths of my own world.
My own world where I was the victim of
monumental wrongs
My world where catastrophe was a stone's throw
away
My world where the air was dry without the
humidity of hope.
Today as I
resurfaced from the blessed shroud of sleep,
The corpse
of despair safely buried deep down,
Those
moments of madness seemed mundane
My reins, I
felt were again safely in my hands.
The thought
knocked my head
Was this the
path of the slide down to depression?
Was I the
one who had said that sinking of the mind was not for me?
It was for those
who did not know how to control it?
Our mind can
instantaneously push us far from reality,
Once the
distance is created the reality becomes meaningless,
An analysis
of the gravity of the situation pointless.
I accepted
one more wrong belief quashed at the altar of life.
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